Destruction 365... day one of the blog...

Today was... good, all things considered. The destruction was kept at a relative minimum, which was nice [kind of a weird day to start the Destruction Blog ^^]

Before I get on to the details, though--a bit of back story...

As I've mentioned in that nifty little Cliff's Notes section, I have given birth to perhaps the most destructive toddler in our known history. Perhaps he's the next stage of our evolution. Perhaps he's a mutant. Perhaps he's the reincarnation of all of our history's known--and unknown--villains. Perhaps he's simply a child genius that gets his kicks out of torturing us [in which case, he's probably well on his way to becoming a serial killer] or, perhaps, we're just awful parents and this is his way of getting back at us for the tremendously difficult life that he leads on a daily basis. Perhaps he's a child genius, unable to find an appropriate outlet for his utter brilliance. Perhaps he's simply a sadist by nature or genetic makeup, in which case I can only blame myself...

Whatever he is, he likes spending his free time in Time Out, planes, Superhero Popsicles, trains, car rides, toy cars and, among other things, destroying every and anything of value within a mile radius of his person.

This destruction doesn't come easily. He's got excellent timing [as, of course, he's never left unsupervised] waiting for that perfect opportunity to get on//near or around something he knows that he shouldn't have access to. Then breaking it. Or tearing it. Shredding it. Whatever the full, total annihilation of whatever object he's currently fixated on requires. And he's thorough. He takes what little time that he has and makes sure that said item is rendered useless.

We will call him C.

This morning, after dropping my husband [who shall from this day forth be referred to as S] off at work, we went to the local Safeway to pick up a few things for UNIX and something for dinner. Seeing as I was ridiculously tired from having been awake [literally] all night with the baby [who shall now be referred to as A], I decided to hell with a well balanced meal, we're having pizza.

As is customary--because despite his sadistic tendencies, C is really quite sweet--C helped me unload the groceries. Sort of. He took it upon himself to bring the pizza inside whilst I struggled with a 30ish pound bag of dog food and 2 gallons of milk. When I got inside, C had decided that the pizza needed to be checked out prior to me putting it in the fridge..
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This is what I almost slipped on and broke my neck getting into the kitchen. The pizza box. Of course, I now wondered where the pizza could have gotten to. I did manage to find it--luckily in a relatively sanitary place, though I am now skeptical about actually cooking it and consuming it, as planned. C had apparently also thought that a taste test was needed.


Maybe he thought it was poisoned and was sacrificing himself for the well being of our family unit. Whatever his motives, he tore a relatively large chunk of our dinner out. And ate it. Perhaps we'll go to Burger King, instead...















Next up on the list--as if this wasn't enough of the food related destruction of the day--was a HoHo. Now, these HoHo's... I have no idea how he got into them. I couldn't even locate them when I had an errant craving for chocolate a week ago. But, of course, C found them. Found them and, while I was nursing his little brother, destroyed them. Really, I didn't see that one coming, at all. Mainly because I'd mostly forgot that we had them.

With the day now half over, it was time for C to move on to bigger, better things. Electronic things. These are C's favorite items to get his hands on--mainly because, due to the fact that we use them all relatively constantly, they're always within reach and always earn him some good, quality time in Time Out.

Today, it was one of his elder brother's [who we'll call D] laptop. This laptop was a birthday gift for D, who is now 8. As you can see, it's an Asus Eee PC which has wonderful educational games and is just the right size for an 8 year old [and, honestly, I'd recommend it to anyone who's looking for a laptop for their kids. It's an affordable $249.99 at Target] Needless to say, C thought it needed some improvement. Or, what he calls improvement, anyway... I personally disagree, but what do I know? I'm old...

He also thought that the screen was a little boring and could use some pizazz, so he got creative and drew on it. With a pen. Hey, I guess I should be glad that he didn't find the permanent marker just a few feet away in the utility drawer...

But like I said--all in all, today wasn't that bad and I'm counting my lucky stars that the PS3 is still intact...